Beginning Again
by Bells Masen Cullen
Summary: Bella is a young disabled woman that has had a hard life, but has learned to live with it. However, there's only so much that a person can take, and when the people she trusted most betray her, she makes a drastic decision in hopes of a better life. AH
1. Starting Over

**Disclaimer: **I only own the plot of the story. The characters and the recognizable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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><p><strong>AN: **well, this is my first story in English. My first language is Spanish and I've been a long time here translating stories into Spanish so I thought, why not write my own story in English? I want to thank the Project Team Beta for their help and patience; this story was beta'ed three times and Pineapplesrock, Gigi Scott, RN4Edward, LoriAnnTwiFan and April93 did a wonderful job and were a great help.

So, this is the English version of my story Aprender a Vivir, written in Spanish. It differs a bit from the Spanish version but the central plot is the same.

I hope you enjoy it and I'll see you at the end.

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><p><strong>BEGINNING AGAIN<strong>

Chapter 1 – Starting Over

"Well, Bella, that's everything. I really hope that you do well in school at Berkeley. You deserve it," said Dr. Marks, my therapist.

"Thank you," I replied. "I hope that, too."

"You just have to remember everything we've talked about. I think this will be good for you."

He stood up and rounded his wooden desk. Everything in this room was made of wood and leather, in warm tones designed to help you relax and get your problems out… even him, with his smile and kind eyes made you feel comfortable enough to tell him all that's bothering you.

At first, I had felt apprehensive that my psychologist was a man instead of a woman, but my uncle had recommended him to me. Anyways, it stopped mattering when I met him. He was just a few years older than me and after a couple sessions I felt, like I said, comfortable enough to open up to him and trust me, I really had problems to open up to others, especially to the male gender.

I stood too. After a goodbye, I headed to the door. I was going to miss talking to him; lately, he was the only person that I had to talk to. I was almost at the door when he stopped me.

"I almost forgot," he said, approaching me with a business card in his hand. There was something written on the back. "I have a friend in Berkeley, and I asked him if he knew of some available work. I hope you don't mind. It's in a law firm. They're looking for a receptionist and I thought it would be a good job for you since you'll be attending Law School. It's a good way to meet people. Besides, you'll need a job to help support yourself."

"It's great. Thank you." I smiled and said goodbye to him one last time before going out to the warm, humid air of mid-June in Seattle. I opened my car door and settled in to drive to Forks.

Forks was my childhood home. My parents, Renee and Charlie, and my sister Katie still lived there. I had lived in Forks until I started attending college at UW in Seattle, when I moved there and lived with my uncle Jack and my aunt Sarah, my father's sister, and their daughter, my cousin Maggie.

On my way, I thought about everything that had happened in the last six months. Before all that, I couldn't say I was completely happy with my life; there had always been something missing, but I was content with it. But last Christmas I lost everything that made me feel happy.

I barely could contain the tears that welled up in my eyes at the thought. Everything started with Riley, my ex-boyfriend, and my friends Jessica, Tanya and Irina. In short, Riley came from England, where he was currently studying, to spend the holidays with his family in Forks and went to Seattle to visit me; it didn't sit well with my friends when I asked him to join us to go out, and they stopped talking to me completely.

It was as if I never existed. That was, of course, after telling me what a bad friend I was and that I was a selfish bitch that only wanted to make them jealous because they didn't have a boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, to flaunt in my face.

Those were the last words they said to me but not about me. When people asked them what had happened and, after knowing the story, told them that that was a shitty excuse to stop talking to me, they started saying that I had made their lives a living hell and they couldn't take it anymore.

You'd say, so what? What if they're gone? If they stopped talking to you just for that, they weren't really your friends so… fuck them, go out there, meet other people and forget they exist. Yeah, I thought that at first, but it's easier said than done. When the anger passed and I realized I was completely alone, ghosts from the past surfaced and I fell into a depression.

It didn't help either that I didn't have a good relationship with my family. My sister seemed to be always angry with me; she was always complaining of the things I did and the things I said. I really hoped that was something of the age ─ she was seventeen so maybe someday she would lose that aversion towards me. But my cousin and my aunt… we used to be really close when they lived in Forks so I wasn't prepared for the way they treated me; I guess that moving to the big city had changed them a lot.

And then there was my father; Charlie had never been one to show his emotions. That and being Forks' Chief of Police made him look really severe and distant, and I was too frightened of being rejected to try and have a good father/daughter relationship with him. Besides, he hadn't shown interest all those years in getting to know me, and everybody knew that my sister was his favorite child, neither of them bothered in deny it anyway.

My mother and my uncle seemed to be my only allies here. My uncle had sensed that I was worse than I was saying and sent me to Dr. Marks, saying that he was an old friend of his. All that was the reason I was leaving, too.

When I started to feel better, he recommended that I should get away from Seattle, Forks and the bad memories. I had always had excellent grades, so when the time came to start looking for a law school, they earned me an acceptance letter from Berkeley's Law School. When I shared the news with Dr. Marks, he encouraged me to accept it.

The other recommendation from Dr. Marks was that I write everything that had happened to me since the beginning, because my problems and insecurities had their start in my childhood. It was very painful to talk or think about all that, so we sometimes struggled to work through my issues to get to the underlying cause. He thought that writing was a good way to get out everything I couldn't say out loud.

- . - . - . - . –

When I got home, my mom had finished packing away in boxes the few things I had left in Forks that I would take with me the next day.

Yes, the next day. I still had almost two months until school started and it was a bit soon to go, mostly for my mother, but I was dying to start my new life. I had found an apartment to share with a nice couple that rented their spare room; Dr. Marks liked this part. He said that living with others instead of alone would help prevent me being locked at home and would make me be around others. I had spoken with them a few times on the phone and via Skype. Sam, like me, was a law student and was going to begin his last year at Boalt Hall, and Emily, his girlfriend, had just finished her Bachelor's in Business Administration at San Francisco State and was preparing to get her MBA; she was my age. They had been dating since they met in high school and started living together four years ago, when she started going to college.

Their lives seemed taken from a movie, but fortunately, they didn't seem to be one of those sickly sweet couples. They were at that stage of their relationship where they didn't mind somebody intruding their love bubble by living with them.

And my favorite part was that they didn't mind me bringing along my little dog, Max; well, Sam wasn't so thrilled but Emily said she'd always wanted to have a dog. Max was a very little, very smart Yorkshire Terrier and had been with me since my cousin Rosalie had given him to me for my eighteenth birthday. Sadly, I'd had leave him at my parents' house in Forks because my aunt didn't want a dog in hers. But even though I could only see him on the weekends when I went back to Forks, he had become my best friend, and I wasn't going to pass on the opportunity of taking him with me now.

My mom wasn't as excited as me, though. "Are you sure about this?" she asked. We were in the kitchen, and she was cooking the dinner.

I sighed. I'd had a hard time trying to convince my parents that this was a good idea. The thing is that I have a disability: I can't walk without the aid of crutches and leg braces that extend from my waist to my feet. They were worried that I'd have trouble on my own without them or another family member there to help me, but my mother had made sure since I was a little kid that I learned to do everything on my own. And now, being almost twenty-two, I could do every daily activity like dressing or bathing myself without being dependent on another person. So they finally saw that I wouldn't have problems with that part. Now, my mother was worried about my emotional well-being.

"I don't know if this will go well or not," I finally said. "In fact, I'm terrified of being more alone there; I'm terrified of realizing that the problem is mine and that I'm totally incapable of having a good, healthy friendship or relationship at all. But I'm sure that I have to try and that I have to get out of this town."

She hugged me. "I know, I know," she said, her voice wavering slightly. "But I'm your mother, and my little girl is going to live in another state. It's my duty to worry." She took a step back and looked at me. "You have grown up so much… it seems like it was yesterday when you ran around the backyard with those little crutches you had, and now…" Her hand flew to her mouth, and I knew I had to stop her before the two of us began another crying party.

"Okay, Mom, why don't I start setting the table? Dad will be here soon, right?"

She nodded and I kissed her cheek before taking out the plates from the cabinet and putting them in a bag to take them carefully to the table before repeating the same process with the cutlery and the napkins. She would take the glasses later, as they were more fragile.

- . - . - . - . –

My father arrived soon, and after dinner, he loaded the rest of the boxes in my car. They were going to drive me; my car's trunk and backseat were full of boxes and my mother and I would take turns driving because it was a long drive for me to do it on my own. It was a great thing that I could drive with my hands, since I wasn't able to do it with my legs, but it was really tiring. The trunk of my father's van was bigger, so he would drive it with my wheelchair and suitcases in it.

My sister would stay in Seattle as she didn't want to come with us… with me, as she had said. My mother had driven her to the ferry, and I took her on the other side and left her at our uncle and aunt's home.

So the next morning, after waking up really early, I settled in the passenger seat of my car while my mother took the first turn driving. I pulled a notebook and pen out of my bag to take advantage of the long drive ahead of us and work on what I called my "writing therapy."

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><p>So, what do you think? I'd love to hear about it.<p>

As for Bella's disability, this story is based on true facts, the things that happened to Bella that we'll see in her "writing therapy" as the story progresses are true and the way Bella handles her daily activities is also real.

I have a couple photos of Bella's braces and her adapted car but fanfiction disabled the links so I'll post them later.

I'll try to post a teaser on The Fictionators. I'll try too to update every two weeks, always posting the new chapter on Saturdays.

Thanks for reading.

-Bells, :)


	2. Photograph

**Disclaimer: **I only own the plot of the story. The characters and the recognizable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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><p>Thank you so much to the Project Team Beta. The betas for this chapter were Lezlee and Juji-loo (AKA Jujibean, Juje, or Jessie), and they were wonderful. Any mistake that remains is all my fault.<p>

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><p><strong>BEGINNING AGAIN<strong>

Chapter 2 - Photograph

_I was born on September 13th, 1989 in Seattle, Washington. I was a healthy child until one day, two months after I was born, my legs stopped moving. After different tests, I was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis, a neurological syndrome caused by inflammation of the spinal cord. Doctors said they weren't completely sure what had caused it, but it had probably been caused by a vaccine. They also said there wasn't a cure and I was never going to walk, so they sent me home._

_Wanting a second opinion, my parents found Dr. Gerandy, a neurologist. He confirmed my diagnosis and told us the disease was, in fact, incurable. He explained that most patients experienced leg weakness, a decrease of sensation, and lack of sphincter control, but he also told us that recovery was possible to some degree._

_Dr. Gerandy sent me to an orthopedist, but we couldn't afford moving to Seattle. Instead, we arranged for the orthopedist to see me once a month to monitor my development. I also started going to physical therapy at Forks Community Hospital and at a heated swimming pool in Port Angeles once a week. With time they saw that I was also capable of controlling the sphincter and the meetings with the doctors became more sporadic over time, but they never stopped. So, the only thing left was the walking issue._

_Though the first doctors said that I was never going to walk, the orthopedist said I could try with leg braces and crutches. He also said that it was difficult for most people to walk with them on a daily basis_, _so it might not work. We tried anyway: and it worked._

_Yes, it was hard to walk with them every day, but my arms gained strength with time. Eventually, it became easier. If it weren't for the crutches, you'd never guess that I need help to walk. The braces were covered by my clothes_, _and I don't have to wear special shoes, as long as they are flat and have straps to hold them in place._

_Of course, it also had its bad side. I took all the strength to walk from my arms and my back, so my muscles were always in knots and aching. I had scoliosis, but I wouldn't change walking for anything._

Suddenly, the first notes of Green Day's _Hitchin' a Ride_ played loudly and bass and drums blasted through the speakers. Absorbed as I was in my writing, I couldn't help but jump in my seat, letting the pen and notebook fall to the floor of the car.

"Mom!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said. "I was just trying to turn up the volume a little. You know I repel technology. Why must these new cars have so many buttons?" She was starting to ramble.

"Mom!" I stopped her. "It helps if you move your finger away from the button. The bottom button turns it down."

"Oh, sure. Right." She pressed the other button and left the music at a less offensive level. "Now, how do I put that song on again? I love this one."

"I think it's better if I do it," I said, and then we both laughed.

"Gosh, Bella, I've been driving for nearly six hours. I think I'm just a bit tired."

"Six hours?"

"Mhmm."

"I must have been more absorbed than I thought. Why didn't you say anything? We could have traded places long ago. Besides, we should stop for lunch."

Her stomach answered for her and mine agreed. So, after calling my father and making a quick stop at a diner to eat, go to the bathroom, and let the dog stretch his legs, we hit the road again.

This time it was me behind the wheel. We spent some time in silence, just listening to the music, but it didn't last long. My mother couldn't sleep in a car, and her favorite thing to do was talk.

"So, have you talked to Riley lately?" she asked, and I became instantly wary. Why would she talk about Riley?

"No," I answered. "Why?"

"He has some good advice for you."

"Like what?" I asked absently, but before she could answer, I realized what she'd just said. "Wait, how do you know?"

"I talked to him a few days ago," she answered nonchalantly.

"Why did you talk to my ex-boyfriend?"

"Because he's studied psychology and was the only one that would offer me any advice to give you. You know Dr. Marks wouldn't have told me a thing."

"Mom, please, tell me you didn't call him."

"You think I'm crazy? That I would make a call to England? No, no. It was on your graduation day. You left your computer open when you left, and he called you on Skype, or whatever it's called."

I nodded and suppressed a laugh at hearing her so proud of herself for being able to manage a computer. I couldn't help but tease her a bit. "Didn't technology repel you? I should check my laptop to make sure that it's still alive."

She laughed sarcastically. "Go on. Laugh at your poor mother. Don't you want to know what he told me?"

"Okay, tell me what he said."

"He said what you need is a boyfriend."

"Mom, I don't…"

"Let me finish," she said, cutting me off. "He said that having a boyfriend would make you feel loved and worthy, thus you'd feel more confident."

"I know, Mom, but I'm not sure. I don't think I'm ready to trust somebody on that level."

"I knew you'd say that. That's why I have other..." She stopped when _Boulevard of Broken Dreams _started to play through the speakers. "Can you please change that song? It's depressing."

"No, I like it. What were you going to say?"

She frowned but kept talking. "I was saying that I have other opinions. After talking with Riley, I realized that you don't need a boyfriend, you just need a good f…"

"Mom!" I cut her off.

"What? You know it's true. You just need to feel desired, and I'm sure that there are plenty of attractive and tanned boys that could…"

"Okay, please, stop. Let's make a deal. If you change the subject, I'll change the song."

She thought for a moment and then decided that it was better not to push it. I was grateful; it had been embarrassing enough when we had had _the talk_ many years before, I didn't want a repeat. "I love you, Mom. And you don't have to worry. I'll be fine."

"I know. I love you too."

"So, did you call the physical therapist that Kristen told you about?" she asked a moment later.

When I grew older and my physiotherapist at Forks Community Hospital saw that I neither got worse nor made any improvement, the days of therapy grew shorter. So, when my mother started to work, she looked for a private clinic, and Kristen became my new physical therapist. She had helped me to look for a new clinic in Berkeley, and I found one that wasn't too expensive and even had a swimming pool.

"Yes. I have to go tomorrow morning for the examination," I answered. "I still have to call about the job, though."

I wasn't sure if I'd gotten the job. I had never worked, so I didn't have a decent resume aside from the languages I spoke. I had helped my uncle in his office, though, so I had a bit of experience but it was unaccredited.

- . - . - . - . –

After a couple stops to let my hands rest from pressing the accelerator and holding the wheel, it was almost eleven o' clock when we arrived. The apartment building was on Fourth Street near the interstate, so it wasn't difficult to find.

After finding a parking spot, I sighed in relief when my hands left the wheel and the accelerator.

I got out of the car and opened the back door to put Max on the leash and take him out.

"I'll take the boxes out tomorrow, okay?" asked Charlie, who had taken my suitcases from the van and was nearing me with them while my mother walked behind him with my wheelchair.

"Sure," I agreed. "I'll just put the things away when you go. You're staying until Sunday?"

My father answered with a grunt. He didn't like leaving Forks, and my mother had had a hard time trying to convince him to take off. She, on the other hand, answered with a huge grin. "Of course," she said cheerfully and a smile tugged at my lips. However, at the same time I felt sad for her.

Since my father didn't like leaving Forks, and it had been a while since the last time that we went on holiday. With Thursday ending, my mother was excited for just a couple days out of Forks. Besides, I knew she missed the sun; she had been born in Phoenix, Arizona and had lived there until she moved to Forks permanently.

"I'll just leave you two to go sightseeing and shopping, and I'll find a place to fish and watch some games on TV," he said, and our smiles faltered.

"Please, Dad, you do that all the time at home," I said.

"You know it isn't my thing, and I'll get bored," he said. "You two can do what you like without me bothering you, and we can have dinner together on Saturday."

"Whatever," said Renee, obviously pissed. "Let's go."

We got to the door of the building, and I pressed the buzzer for the right apartment. Soon, we heard a voice I assumed was my roommate Emily's. She asked who we were and then let us enter.

The building seemed a bit industrial, with straight lines and stainless steel frames, but modern at the same time. The lobby was spacious and painted in a cream tone, with light marble floor that contrasted with two dark couches and the dark wood of the front desk, which at that moment was empty.

We approached the elevators, occupied two of them and went up to the fifth floor. Emily was in the hall when the doors opened and came to us with a smile, hugging me when she stopped in front of us.

"Nice to finally meet you, Bella," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't come down to help you, but I'm in my pajamas."

"It's nice to meet you too, and don't worry — we just brought the suitcases," I answered. Then I remembered that we weren't alone and said, "This is my father, Charlie, and my mother, Renee."

They shook hands and shared hellos. "Will you stay here tonight?" Emily asked them while we went to the right in the corridor and approached the apartment's front door.

"No, no. We got a hotel room for tonight and tomorrow," said my father. "We'll come tomorrow and bring up the boxes. I guess I'll have something to do while they go shopping or whatever they want to do."

"You sure won't get bored. There's just one bed, a couple bedside tables and the closet in her room," she said pointing towards me, "because we just use it when Sam's mother comes to visit. I was telling Sam he should go to Ikea and buy a desk and a couple shelves, and maybe you can go with him tomorrow."

My father's eyes sparkled. Now he had a legitimate excuse not to go with us. "Sure," he answered, excited. "We can buy it tomorrow and have everything ready before dinner on Sunday."

I shook my head but said nothing. "Okay," said Emily instead. "I'll show you the apartment then, so you can go to sleep. You must be tired." We all nodded,and I stifled a yawn that confirmed what she had just said.

We entered the door to a small hall. To the left, against a pistachio green wall, there was a small table with a lamp and a bowl with keys in it. "One of those is yours," said Emily. To the right, there was a door leading to the kitchen; it was neither to big nor too small. On the far wall, there was a door that led to a small den.

To the front, the hall opened in a living/dining area.

At the left wall, there were two doors, separated by a beautiful painting of the Bay Area. Each door led to the bedrooms, each one of them with its own bathroom. The left side door led to Sam and Emily's room, and it was closed because Sam had been working all day with a friend and was sleeping. We crossed to the right door and entered my room.

It was painted in a light brown tone that matched the slightly darker color of the curtains and bedspread that my mother had bought me after seeing some photos of the place. As Emily had said, there was a bed and a couple bedside tables, one of which had a lamp. There was also a dresser, which was good. I didn't have that many clothes, but the built-in closet was really small. After quickly looking over the room, I realized I could use a desk and some shelves.

"The bathroom is there," said Emily, pointing to a door at the left wall. "And we have a welcome present for you."

I blushed, something that happened more often than I liked when I was the center of attention. "Thanks. You didn't have to." I really didn't like people spending money on me.

"Well, it's kind of a lame present, so don't thank me yet," she said with a smile. "We thought you'd find it useful, though," she added.

The present in question was a wooden stool that I needed to get into the tub and a shower holder they had put lower than the other one, since I couldn't stand inside the tub.

"Thank you, really. I was thinking I wouldn't be able to shower tomorrow, so it's really useful," I said with a smile.

"That's what we thought," she said. "Oh, and you have some towels in the cabinet under the sink. I hope you didn't forget to bring towels and bed linens, though." I had brought them. She had told me that they only had a couple towels for guests and the only bed sheets were the ones I'd sleep in that night.

After that, my parents told me that they'd come back the next day, my mother to go with me to the meeting with the physical therapist and my father to get Sam and go to Ikea. We said goodbye, and after a bowl of cereal, I got out of my braces and got into bed, falling asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

- . - . - . - . –

I woke up the next morning to the unbearable noise my phone was making. I reached out to the bedside table and opened one eye. The screen read 7:30. I silenced the alarm and, sighing, sat up in the bed. I didn't really want to get up so soon, but I had to shower and call the law office, I had to be at the physical therapist's office at nine.

I got out of bed, landing on the floor. I didn't usually wear the braces while at home since it was really tiring to wear them all day. So, I crawled on the floor. I didn't like to move that way when there were other people, though. It made me feel… small, but right now, I was alone in my room. I wasn't going to put on the braces just to go to the bathroom and take them off.

The stool was right next to the tub, so I sat on it and reached out to turn on the water, putting the plug in when the temperature was right. I got a couple towels from the cabinet — a big one to put over the stool so I could wrap with it later and a smaller one to dry myself. After taking out the shampoo and the other things I'd need, I stripped my clothes and got in to the tub. This was the part that Emily hadn't been sure of when I told her that a tub was even better than a shower. First, I took my legs into the tub and then, holding my hands on each side of the tub to get leverage, got my body into it and sat down. It was easier than it looked. I knew it could be a bit dangerous, but I had been doing it since I was five. I wasn't going to ask somebody to help me get in the tub now.

I showered quickly and dried myself, put on the underwear that I had brought to the bathroom with me and then stared at my legs. In Seattle, I usually wore thick tights that kept my typically cold legs warm and prevented the leather finish of the braces from sticking to my legs. But here, if I put them on, my legs would boil, and if I didn't put them on, the leather would stick to me. It was annoying either way.

I finally opted not to put them on. I went back to my room and opened the two suitcases. I didn't have a lot of summer clothes, but thankfully, I had a few short sleeved t-shirts. I put a white Ramones t-shirt on. It took me a while to make the bed, but I finally did it and sat on it to put my braces on.

Once I was dressed in some jeans and my Converse, I got out of the room and found Emily sitting at the kitchen bar with a mug of what smelled like coffee and toast. Max was sitting on the floor, looking at her for something to eat, and I remembered I had forgotten his food in the car. Music played at a low volume from the iPod dock next to the TV.

"Good morning," I said.

"Morning."

"Did I wake you?" I asked concerned. That wouldn't have been a good way to start my first day here.

She shook her head while she took a bite of the toast. "I have to go to work," she said after swallowing. "Did you sleep well?"

"Oh, yes," I said. "I'd be in that bed for another couple of hours if I didn't have things to do," I continued as I entered the kitchen, Max trailing behind me. "I should go to the car for his food and take him out while I go," I said more for myself.

"There was a bag over your wheelchair," she said. "The dog is fed, and I took him out when I woke up."

She continued eating while I looked at her, stunned. She had agreed to let me bring Max, but she didn't really have to bother with taking care of him.

"What?" she said after a moment. "Don't look at me like that. I told you I've always wanted a dog, and he's so cute. I couldn't resist when he looked up at me with those big eyes."

I laughed. I knew what she was talking about. Max had eyes too big and too round for a dog so small, sometimes he reminded me of the Puss in Boots from the Shrek movie.

I took a mug out of a cabinet and poured some coffee. The iPod started playing _Photograph_ by Nickelback, and my mind began to wander. I liked the song, but today it hit too near home. Itwasn't that I had wonderful memories of Forks — I had some good ones — but overall, they were filled with tears and mocking laughs. It was the only place I knew — the place where I had lived all my life.

There were two lines in the song that summed up what I was feeling right now: _So hard to stay/Too hard to leave it._ A lump suddenly formed in my throat, and it was hard to even swallow my coffee. Everything became more real — I was leaving my home, my family and everything I knew.

Emily felt my distress and asked, "Do you want me to change it?"

"Mmmm… no, it doesn't matter. It's finishing anyway. It's just… you know…"

"Yeah, I know. It was hard for me, too, and my family lives right here in Oakland. I can only guess what you're feeling," she said sympathetically. "But don't worry. We'll keep you busy, so you don't think too much about it."

I smiled at her gratefully, and my fears disappeared just a little bit. "Well, I have to go," she said rounding the wall and entering the kitchen, going directly to the sink where she left her mug and plate. "Have fun and wake up Sam if he doesn't do it on his own," she finished, putting on a blazer that matched her black dress pants and taking her bag and a briefcase. "Bye," was the last thing she said before closing the front door.

- . - . - . - . –

My parents arrived soon after that and, thankfully, Sam woke himself up; it would have been really awkward if I had to wake him up without even knowing him personally yet. By 8:30, I had called the law office, where a woman asked me to send my resume to their email address, and was on my way to the physical therapy clinic. I had already looked up the address on Google, so it wasn't hard to find.

We entered and were greeted by the hugest man I'd ever seen walking through a set of double doors that let me see a gym as they closed behind him. He had dark hair and gray eyes, and I was sure his arms were longer than I was tall. He seemed a bit intimidating at first, but when he grinned, it was obvious he was an enormous teddy bear.

"Isabella Swan?" he asked, and I realized I had been gaping at him like an idiot.

I closed my mouth, shook my head and answered. "Yes. But just call me Bella. This is my mother, Renee." I looked at her and found her gaping just like I had been a minute before.

"Okay, Bella, Renee. I'm Emmett," he introduced himself. "Come with me, please." He led us to a door next to the set of double doors he'd just walked through, and we entered an office.

Emmett turned out to be a really nice guy, but the examination was the same as always — questions about the disease, its evolution, the exercises I've been doing. He was probably wondering how I didn't look like Quasimodo with the curve of my spine.

We agreed that I would come two days a week, Wednesday and Saturday mornings, starting the next day, for an hour of exercises and half an hour of swimming, and we said goodbye.

The sky was overcast when we exited to the street. It probably wasn't a good day to go sightseeing, but my mother wanted to take some photos from the Golden Gate Bridge. We ended up seated in the car, parked at Presidio Park, though, because it had started to pour rain the moment we went to get out of the car.

"We can come back tomorrow," I said, not happy that it was raining on my first day outside of rainy Washington State. "But what do we do now?"

We were silent for a moment until my mother said, "Your father and I are going out to dinner tonight. Maybe we could go to the mall to find a nice dress, and you can get some new clothes."

I nodded, not very excited. It's not like I don't like to go shopping; it's just that when I imagined my first day here, I wasn't in a mall. Fifteen minutes later, we found ourselves parking the car in one of San Francisco's malls.

By lunchtime, I had a lot of bags full of shirts, t-shirts and jeans that I really needed, dresses and shorts that I'd never put on, and a couple pairs of dress pants that my mother bought me for work (which meant that, whether I got the job at the law office or not, she wouldn't be supporting me forever).

"I really want you to put on those dresses. You look beautiful in them!" she said while we waited for our pizza.

She was always telling me how I should dress in a more feminine way. I thought that I dressed feminine enough — I just didn't like dresses. Well, I didn't like attracting attention. When I wore a dress, everybody stared at the braces on my legs, so I didn't like it.

"Mom, I told you not to buy them."

"We'll see if you put them on or not when the hottest months come," she said, all wise-mother. "Then, you won't be able to stand the jeans. You'll see. You're not in Seattle anymore," she finished.

Yeah, that was what I needed. I had to change the subject because the lump in my throat returned with that last sentence. I stayed silent a moment while she went to retrieve our pizza and a bit more while we ate a slice, then asked, "So where are you and dad going tonight? Some fancy place?"

"I don't know for sure. He didn't tell me, but I think we'll go to the place we went on our first date," she said. "We met here."

I had heard that story a few times when my mother remembered how sweet my father was when she met him. She was in San Francisco visiting her brother who studied at SFSU, and my father was on holiday with some friends. They met and fell in love at first sight. Two months later, my mother found out that she was pregnant with me.

"I wore a knee-length ice blue dress," she continued dreamily. "He said that color made me look beautiful, he said that it matched my eyes. Maybe I can find something similar."

After eating, we started the search for a knee-length ice blue dress, and we found one. It seemed made for someone a bit younger than her – though she was just 41 – but it fit perfectly and made her look truly beautiful. It's not that I thought she wasn't beautiful. In fact, I had always wanted to look like her, but in that moment, I could see what my father had seen that night twenty-two years before.

She went to pay, and I told her I'd see her outside. I was going to see the swimsuit display in the Victoria Secret window when my crutch hit something hard, and I felt myself fall forward. I didn't hit the floor because a strong arm wrapped around my waist and lifted me up.

"Are you okay?" asked a male voice.

"Yes," I whispered without lifting my head. "I'm sorry," I continued. I was so clumsy — I was always stumbling over things. This time, however, it had been over this man's leg, and I felt even worse.

"No, I'm sorry," he said softly. "I was looking at my phone and didn't see you."

I finally lifted my face and met his warm smile first and then his eyes, the most gorgeous green eyes I had ever seen. I looked away, blushing and planted my crutches on the floor again, proving that I was well enough.

He asked me again if I was okay, and I reassured him I was. Then, he continued walking, and I was left standing there, staring at a mop of a strange shade of bronze hair, wide back and shoulders and…

"Nice ass," said my mother, startling me. I looked at her and then followed her gaze, seeing that she was looking at the same thing as me. I wouldn't have said nice, though. Glorious was a more accurate term, but perhaps, not the best one.

A moment later, we went back to normal again and proceeded to finish our shopping. I just needed a pair of leggings, my substitute for the thick tights, and a new swimsuit for the swimming pool. My mother wanted to buy me a bikini, but I preferred a one-piece. I ended up with both.

- . - . - . - . –

That evening, back at home (it sounded really strange to think of this place as my home now), we dined on Italian take-out that Emily had brought, and I thanked Sam profusely for helping Charlie assemble my new furniture. Between the two of them, they had finished the two shelves, a desk and a chair, and at that moment, it seemed more like a bedroom. I was sure that when I added my things, it wouldn't sound so strange calling this my home.

I also asked them for the internet password and wrote and sent my resume. It wasn't hard given I had never really had a job, but it didn't look too bad after adding my position in my uncle's office, my knowledge of computers (I wasn't an expert by any means, but I did know my way around them) and my ability to speak Spanish and French fluently. It wasn't much, but I hoped it'd made up for my lack of experience.

I also went out a bit with Max and then went to bed. This time Max traded the sofa for sleeping at my feet on the bed.

- . - . - . - . –

The next morning I put my swimsuit under my clothes and went to the clinic. Emmett lent me a wheelchair and led me to an adapted locker room where I stripped out of my clothes and took off my braces. After putting on my clothes again, I went to the gym. There weren't a lot of people there but still enough to make up for Emmett opening on a Saturday.

The exercises were the same I had been doing since I was little. First, I did my leg exercises. I couldn't really move my legs, but I could move them using my hips where I did have strength, so I pushed with my hips to try to lift and bend them. Then came sit ups that helped me strengthen my abdominals and avoid straining my back. And finally stretching. Those exercises weren't really necessary, but they soothed the knots in my back.

What distracted me from the tedium of doing the same exercises over and over was Emmett's joyful attitude and his struggle with the seven-year-old kid next to me. I learned that his name was Anthony, and his arguments to avoid doing some of his exercises were really cute. He actually reminded me of my little self when I didn't want to do them.

Then, came the pool, and two hours after I left home, I was back. I found my mother sitting in the living room, talking to Emily while Sam had gone to help his friend finish assembling furniture at his home. Later, I learned that that was his job; he worked transporting and assembling furniture.

"Hi," I greeted them. "How did it go?" I asked my mother.

"Fine. Great, actually," she said sarcastically.

"That bad, huh?"

"I was hoping for a romantic date, and he took me to a loud, crowded bar because there was some damn game. So yes, that bad." She sighed. "I just need fresh air, and today, it's sunny. We should take advantage of it," she said getting up.

I had showered at the clinic, so I just changed my clothes. I put on some jeans and a shirt, and I was ready to go. Emily came with us, and we brought Max, too.

The first stop was the Golden Gate. We visited the landmarks of San Francisco and explored Berkeley, too, but I was uneasy. Each passing hour drew nearer the time when I'd have to say goodbye to my parents until God knows when I'd be able to go back home — Christmas maybe.

The worst part was saying goodbye to my mother. We supported each other. I was going to miss her a lot, and maybe she'd miss me as much. She didn't have a lot of people to talk to in Forks. We usually spent a lot of time on the phone, and sometimes, she came to Seattle.

I'd miss her the most, and I knew that as I clung to her after dinner. It was time for me to face my future and I was terrified I hadn't made the right decision.

* * *

><p>I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'd love to hear - or read - your thoughts.<p>

I can't say when I will update again because I'm beginning my finals, but I'll post some teasers on Twitter (BellsMCullen09), Facebook (Bells Masen Cullen) or my blog (http : / bellstranslations . blogspot . com).

Thank you for reading.

-Bells, :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I only own the plot of the story. The characters and the recognizable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

><p>Thank you so much to the ladies at the Project Team Beta for beta'ing this chapter.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>BEGINNING AGAIN<strong>

Chapter 3

_I walked out__ of __the apartment and locked the door. It was Wednesday__, __and I had to go to Emmett's clinic._

_When I got out to the street, though, I realized I wasn't in Berkeley. The sky was overcast__, __and in front of me wasn't the familiar buildings of my new neighborhood; instead__, __I was meet by a green wall of trees at the other side of the road. I looked behind me__, __and I didn't see my apartment building but the small building in which Forks' Public Library was located._

_I wanted to go back, to turn around and be in California again, but it didn't work that way. My feet and my crutches moved on their own accord, carrying me to the park where I knew my mother and my sister would be waiting._

_My body started shaking slightly when I passed by Newton's Outfitters. It had started there. They had been there. But I still had the hope that that time would be different, that they'd leave me alone._

_I wasn't that lucky._

_A couple of minutes later I could hear them. I turned around to face them, but they were faster – they always were faster - and they weren't there. It happened two more times__, __and I thought I was going crazy, but I knew I wasn't. They were real; their laughs were real__, __too._

_I turned a corner and found myself in a narrow alley. The park was at the other side__, __and I felt relieved when I realized I only had to get to the other side to escape them._

_I heard them again, and this time when I looked behind me, they didn't disappear. I knew then they were herding me; I had been going down streets I didn't need to just to escape them, but there was no escape because I had done exactly what they wanted._

_I kept walking anyway, though I knew they'd catch me. I looked behind me again__, and__ they laughed harder, accelerating their steps._

_My eyes watered when two of them started walking at each side of me__, __and big__, __fat tears ran down my cheeks when they spoke._

"_Hi, Bella," one of them said._

_I tried to walk faster._

"_Don't be like that. Don't you want to take a walk with us?"_

_By then, I had four more people right behind me. I tried to bite back a sob, but it was fruitless. Why did they do that to me? What had I done? Once again, I tried to move faster to get to the end of the alley, but then someone grabbed one of my crutches, causing me to fall forward onto the hard wet ground…_

I awoke with a shriek, sitting up in my bed. I was sweating, my cheeks were covered in tears, and my breathing was labored. I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle my sobs and fell back on the bed, Max snuggling against me and licking the hand that was around him.

I turned my head and looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It read six am. Great, Emily was awake and would have heard me. Again. It wasn't the first time that I had that nightmare. It had been haunting me for the week and a half that I'd been in Berkeley.

Sighing, I thought it was still too early to get up – I didn't have to be at Emmett's until nine-thirty – but I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. So I decided to get up, shower, and then make breakfast for Sam and me.

- . - . - . - . –

"Bella, this is awesome," said Sam after swallowing a mouthful of pancakes.

"Thanks," I said absentmindedly, moving my food around my plate while I watched him taking a forkful of eggs and bacon.

At least someone was enjoying the breakfast. I'd had to force down the little I had eaten, and I'd done it just because I didn't want to do the exercises later with an empty stomach.

"Bella, are you all right?" asked Sam a moment later. I looked up and saw him staring at me intently, and I knew it…he had heard me too.

I feigned ignorance. "Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

He dropped his fork. "Because you barely eat, and you wake up screaming," he said, and there was concern in his voice.

"I just have nightmares," I whispered, because at that point it was all that I could manage. I was an emotional mess, and hearing him concerned about me was making things worse.

"Well, I know you just met us, but if something is bothering you, you can talk to us."

I bit my lip. _Shit, don't cry in front of him, Bella._ I closed my eyes to hold back the tears and sighed; like I said, I was feeling really emotional these days. And tired. The nightmares left me with restless sleep and exhaustion. Besides, I had spent every night of this week and a half crying, while I spent the days trying to convince myself and the others that everything was fine. The thing was, everything was fine.I got along well with my roommates, though I still barely knew them. However, at night, I always went to bed with a lump in my throat and a need to cry.

At first, I thought I just missed my home and being around people I knew. To try to feel better, I thought about my situation there: at home I had to deal with my aunt's and cousin's bitchiness, my father's indifference, and my sister's bad mood. So more than my home, I realized I missed my mother and talking to her. I hadn't talked to her since Monday morning when she had called to tell me that they had arrived home safely. I knew that if I talked to her, she'd see through me and would feel bad for not being here to comfort me.

So now I just felt kind of stupid. Any twenty-one-almost-twenty-two-year-old girl would be excited and happy being in a place like this - maybe even proud of having been accepted to an university like Berkeley - but here I was, depressed because I missed my mother. I hadn't even unpacked my boxes because I didn't feel like I could deal with seeing my personal things that were full of memories.

"Thank you," I said finally.

"It's nothing," he replied. "And I mean it; you can talk to Emily or me if you need anything."

He finished his food and got up, taking our empty plates to the sink. He washed them, and after a moment, he said, "I think I should get going. I won't come to eat today; we have a lot of work."

"Oh, that's fine. You want me to make you a sandwich or something?"

He laughed. "I know I'm mostly useless in the kitchen, but I think I can handle making a sandwich. Don't worry," he said. He then added, "I'll take something for dinner on my way from work. Emily's sister, Leah, is coming over this evening."

"I can cook," I offered.

"Are you sure? You don't have to do it."

"I like cooking. What about chicken fajitas?"

"That's perfect," he said with a smile. "I'll see you later."

- . - . - . - . -

"Hey, Bella," Emmett called to me as I walked out of the locker room. "Come in my office for a sec?"

"Sure," I told him. As I followed him to his office, I wondered briefly what he would want. After all, it was only the fourth day I'd been there; I couldn't possibly have gotten into trouble so soon, could I?

I sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk and he sat beside me.

"So how have you been?" he asked, and I stared at him in confusion. I hadn't expected that question.

"Mmmm. Good, I guess?" It came out more like a question.

"You guess?" he said, offering me a small smile. "Look, this probably isn't my business, but I see you're kind of sad. I just wanted you to know that, though we've known each other for a short time, you can talk to me if you need to."

_Not again_, I thought while my lip quivered. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself.

"Thank you, Emmett. I guess I just have to get used to being here," I said finally. "I'm okay most of the time; it's just when I'm alone that I feel a bit bad."

"You'll get used to it with time. Are you alone today?"

"Yeah, my roommates are working."

"Well, I'm meeting some friends at lunchtime. Want to come with us?"

I hesitated. "Won't they mind?" I asked. After all, I had had a bad experience introducing new people in a group of friends, and I wouldn't want Emmett having problems with his because of me.

"Of course not," he said, smiling. After a moment of silence, he said, "I'll pick you up at half past twelve, okay?"

- . - . - . - . –

It was half past eleven when I got home, and Max was bouncing excitedly around me because he wanted to go out. I decided I'd change my clothes, and then I'd go for a walk with him while I waited for Emmett.

I was looking in my closet, thinking that my mother was right with what she said about the dresses and pondering if I was up for the looks I'd attract to my legs, when my phone started to ring.

"Hello?" I said, after seeing that I didn't know the number on the display.

"Isabella Swan?" said a woman's voice on the other side of the line.

"Yes, it's me. Who is this?"

"I'm Heidi from _Dwyer & Masen._ I know it's a bit of a short notice, but my bosses would like to meet with you this afternoon, if that's possible."

The law office. I hadn't thought they'd contact me so fast. In fact, if I was being honest, I hadn't thought they would call me at all.

"Miss Swan?" asked Heidi, and I realized that I hadn't answered.

"Oh…yes…of course, this afternoon is perfect," I said hurriedly.

"All right. At two, then?"

"Two is fine."

- . - . - . - . –

"Wow. You look really good, Bella," said Emmett as I opened the apartment's front door.

"Thanks," I said, blushing. "But…I don't know. I have a job interview in the afternoon. Don't you think it's too much? Or maybe too casual?" I asked, looking down at my clothes.

I had picked a pair of dark blue skinny pants and a coral blouse that had a brown strap at the waist and showed more of my cleavage than I was comfortable with, now that I thought about it.

"No, like I said, you look _really_ good," he assured me.

"Well, thanks again," I answered, feeling my face warm. "Would you mind waiting a minute? I just have to grab my bag. You can sit if you want."

"I'm okay, don't worry," he said with a wave of his hand, and I headed to my room. "Can I ask where you have this interview?" he asked from the living room while I took my phone from my desk and threw it in the bag.

"Mmmm, it's a law firm here in Berkeley. _Dwyer & Masen_?" I answered, taking a moment in the bathroom to splash some water on my flushed face.

"No shit! _Dwyer & Masen_? Really?"

"Yes," I said, confused by his reaction. "You know them?" I asked, leaving the bathroom ready to go.

"Well, Edward Masen is Anthony's uncle."

At that, I was surprised. What a small world. But that wasn't the most surprising thing. While we waited for the elevator on the way down to the car, I learned that Emmett was more acquainted with Anthony's family than I'd thought.

Emmett told me that his parents passed away nine years ago, when he was nineteen, and Anthony's family had sort of adopted him.

"I was at their home most of the time, anyway," he said. "I've always been good friends with Anthony's older brothers, Jasper and Edward."

I felt sorry for him losing his parents so young but, at the same time, I marveled at his capacity to stay cheerful and make those around him feel good. I wanted to say something, but I never knew what to say in those types of situations, and soon, it felt like too much time had passed to say anything at all, and we found ourselves on the street. I gaped at his car. It was a Jeep and so huge I didn't know how I'd get into it.

"You need help?" asked Emmett behind me with a chuckle.

I turned to him and said, "We could always take my car."

This time he laughed. "Then I would be the one needing help. Besides, I have to go back to work later." He took the crutches from my hands and placed them against the side of the Jeep. Then he put his arms around my waist and lifted me into the seat.

I didn't feel attracted to him in a romantic or sexual way, but it had been a long time since I had been so close to a man that wasn't part of my family, so I blushed. I cursed in my head and willed away the blush that I was sure tinted my face and neck. I didn't want to give him the wrong impression because I was starting to feel comfortable with him, but that would change if he thought that I liked him, and he'd have to reject me because clearly he couldn't like me and…Shit! I was thinking too much into it. Why couldn't I just relax? Why couldn't I be normal and not defensive all the time?

I sat back in my seat and took a deep breath, trying to relax and will away the tightness that was setting in my stomach when I realized that I was going to eat with a bunch of people I didn't know at all. At that, I kicked myself mentally. _You are here for that, stupid_.

I really started to relax when I met them. Peter was a handsome music teacher that almost made me swoon when he kissed my hand and looked at me with his dark blue eyes when Emmett introduced us; I didn't even have time to feel nervous or embarrassed as it took me completely by surprise. Garrett was Peter's cousin and one of the funniest guys that I had ever met. The two of them, with Emmett, were like little kids. That's what Kate, Garrett's girlfriend, told me; she was grateful because she wouldn't have to deal with them by herself.

"I work with children, and I swear, these three are worse than them," she said. Later, I'd learn that she had just finished medical school and was doing her residency at UCSF Medical Center as a pediatrician. "Oh, and Edward isn't here. Things get even worse when he's with them." She let out a loud laugh.

"That's right. Where the hell is Edward? It's been almost three weeks since I saw him," stated Emmett.

"He had something with his family today, but he's been busy at the hospital. We all have been," Kate answered with a sigh, leaning back in her chair. "We are training the volunteers, but there aren't enough, so Edward and I have been spending a lot of time with the kids so they aren't alone."

"But that isn't part of your job, right?" asked Peter.

"That's what I tell her. She comes home exhausted every day between the long shifts and the added hours," Garrett piped in.

"You two are just being insensitive," she said. "The families of those kids can't be at the hospital all the time. We just need more people."

A waitress came and took our orders, and a silence fell over the table. During those minutes, I remembered that I had volunteered at Seattle Children's Hospital. Dr. Marks had recommended doing something with my time during the months I had left in Seattle and, given that I had spent a lot of time at hospitals, it was the best activity I could think of. I had enjoyed the experience immensely, and I'd like to do it again. And that's what I told to Kate…omitting the Dr. Marks part.

"That would be great," she said excitedly. "I'll email you the documentation, if you want."

"Of course," I said with a smile.

We exchanged emails and telephone numbers, and our meals arrived shortly after.

I ended up having a really good time with these nice people. I even found myself taking part in the conversations and laughing. I felt a small pang in my chest when I realized that it had been a long time since I had felt like this, but I didn't let it affect me.

In other circumstances, I'd feel nervous about my impending interview. Hell! Usually I would be in my chair, eating silently and trying to go unnoticed. However, I felt so good that I couldn't feel anything but excitement.

I wished it could be always like that, but it was hard to let my guard down, even if I wanted to.

- . - . - . - . –

The law office ended up being two blocks away from the restaurant and it was in the direction Kate was heading so, after saying goodbye, we left together. Five minutes before two, we stopped in front of an office building.

"Well, here we are," Kate said. "Good luck, Bella."

"Thanks," I told her, smiling, and she surprised me giving me a hug. I told her I'd call her later, before entering the building.

I went to the security desk to check in and then to the elevators. I pressed the button to the seventh floor, and a minute later, I stepped out to a small lobby, barely decorated with a plant and a painting.

"Good afternoon, I'm Bella Swan. I'm here for an interview," I said when I approached the front desk.

I finally met Heidi, who after checking my name and making sure that I was _Isabella_, led me through a hall to an office. I was gaping as soon as the door opened; we weren't on a high floor in the building, but sunlight filtered through the windows, lighting and warming the room that was furnished with a couple of modern paintings and minimalistic furniture. And then there was the man that had his hand extended to me; he was tall with dark brown hair, broad shoulders, and a vaguely familiar face and smile.

I held my right crutch with my left hand and reached out to shake his hand. "I'm Edward Masen," he said in a smooth voice. "And you must be Isabella Swan?"

"Yes, but just call me Bella. Everybody does."

"Okay, Bella. Have a seat, please. I'm afraid we'll be by ourselves. Phil…err, Mr. Dwyer won't be able to join us today," he said while he went to his chair and sat down. "Well, tell me about yourself."

I told him the basics, my age and where I came from. When it came to my studies, we engaged in a conversation about law school and Berkeley because it turned out that he and Mr. Dwyer had studied there.

After an hour or so talking, he told me that I had the job if I wanted it, and that's where I started to get nervous. I didn't have a lot of experience in interviewing, and I thought I'd have to wait awhile before they told me anything. I couldn't help but think there was something wrong with the job.

There was a bad part, indeed, the amount of work and the salary. Mr. Masen told me that it was only him and Mr. Dwyer and a couple of paralegals, so they didn't have secretaries, and I'd have a bit more work than a receptionist would. Also it was part-time, from two to eight, and the pay was barely above the minimum wage.

I pondered for a moment, but I already knew I'd accept it. The pay wasn't high, and it seemed a lot of work, but I knew I wouldn't find anything better; it was a job that allowed me to work seated, in contact with people that practiced the profession I wanted to work in in the future, and I doubted that I'd make more money working at Starbucks…if I could work at Starbucks, that was.

So I accepted. Mr. Masen told me that I would have to work all day the rest of the week so Heidi could train me, but I'd start my normal schedule the next Monday.

I stepped out to the street with a smile on my face. I stopped at one side of the sidewalk and looked for my sunglasses in my bag while I thought about the good day I'd had, despite the way I had woken up. The idea of needing to talk to somebody about it crossed my mind, and my happiness faltered for a moment when I realized that this was something I'd talk to Jess about.

I shook my head while I still rummaged in my bag and thought about Sam, Emily, Emmett, Kate…. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a body collide against me and something wet and warm running down my shirt. A strong arm around my waist prevented me from falling backward to the pavement.

"Shit! I'm sorry," said a male voice.

I lifted my head and couldn't believe what – or who – I was seeing. The guy from the mall. "You!" I said, regaining my balance and grabbing my crutches with both hands. I looked down at my shirt and saw a huge coffee stain. Before I could look at his face again, a silver sparkle caught my eye, he had his cell in his hand – again.

When I finally lifted my eyes, he was looking at me with an amused smile. _Really? He almost kills me twice_, _and he's amused?_ Well, maybe I was being overdramatic, but that didn't stop me from getting angry. "You can't stop looking at that thing?" I asked, giving him my best glare.

He laughed. "It helps me meet pretty girls," he said with a smirk and a wink. _Shit! Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush! _Instead, I deepened my glare. He laughed again. "Look, I'll give you my number. Just call me when you get the shirt cleaned, and I'll pay for it."

I was dumbfounded. "That isn't necessary," I managed to say, forgetting my angry façade, but he had already torn a piece of a carton of cigarettes and was writing on it.

"I have to go, but I hope to hear from you soon," he said, smiling while handing me the piece of paper.

I stood there for a moment, mesmerized by his smile. When I came back to my senses, I went to the bus stop to go back to my place, cursing because it was so hot that I didn't take a jacket and now I couldn't cover the stain on my shirt.

When I got home, I went directly to my bedroom to change before going to buy the things I needed to make dinner.

* * *

><p>I was going to post this tomorrow, but it's been a long time and I couldn't wait. Besides, in Spain is Saturday now, anyway.<p>

I know it's a short chapter. The reason is that I have split it in two chapters, so I'll post chapter 4 next week, and chapter 5 will be up in two weeks.

I hope you like it. Thanks for reading, comenting and adding the story to your favorites and alerts.

There will be a tearser on Monday in The Fictionators.

-Bells, :)

PS.: You'll find some images of the story in my profile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I only own the plot of the story. The characters and the recognizable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

><p>Thank you so much to the ladies at the Project Team Beta for beta'ing this chapter.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>BEGINNING AGAIN<strong>

Chapter 4

I was in the sauce aisle at the supermarket, thinking about calling Sam to ask him what sauce they preferred, when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and saw the massive form of Jacob Black.

Jacob was our neighbor; he lived at the end of the hall. He and Sam had been friends for a few years. He greeted me with a huge grin that I returned. I had only seen him a few times, but I liked him; he was always smiling, cracking jokes, and in a good mood. He reminded me of Emmett.

"Are you here alone?"

"Yes," I replied. "I need a couple of things to make dinner."

"What are you cooking?"

"Fajitas."

"Hmmm, that sounds delicious. It's been a long time since I ate a homemade meal," he said. "What are you going to put in them?"

"Chicken. I'm making red sauce too and pico de gallo, but I don't know if I should buy guacamole or sour cream. I'm not sure what Sam and Emily like."

"You should make guacamole," he said.

"They like it?"

"They don't, in fact. But I like it."

I turned my face and looked at him and saw a toothy smile on his face. I chuckled. "Jacob," I began, "do you want to come to dinner?"

His expression turned to one of fake surprise. "Really?! I'd love to. Thanks for inviting me."

I laughed, taking the guacamole from the shelf. He took it from my hand. "This is on me. Don't you have a cart?" he asked.

"No, I have a shopping bag." I moved my left crutch so he could see the bag that hung from it. "It's not easy for me to push a cart. I need to lean on something stable to move, and the cart has wheels."

"Oh, of course. Okay, give it to me."

"What?"

"The bag."

"Oh…err…it's not necessary, I can carry it."

"I don't doubt it, but I'm sure it'll be easier for you if I carry it. It has to be heavy."

"It doesn't weigh that much."

He sighed. "Bella, I just want to help you, and you're not making it easy on me. I don't know if me believing that you need help offends you or if you're just stubborn."

"I'm not offended," I said, shrugging.

"So, it's just that you're stubborn."

"What?"

"Bella…"

"Yes?"

"Give me the bag," he said, and without waiting for my response, he took the bag from my crutch.

We paid, and he accompanied me to my car. "Will you be able to bring everything up to your apartment?" he asked.

"Of course, I told you that it doesn't weigh that much," I said and chuckled at the look he shot at me.

"Okay. I have to go to the shop and pick Claire up from her grandparents, so I won't be there to help you."

Jacob was a mechanic, and he had his own auto repair shop. He was also a widower; his wife died two years before from cancer, and he was left with Claire, his beautiful three-year-old daughter. I had met Claire one afternoon when I was walking Max and they were walking their Yorkshire dog, Nymeria. Though it was Claire's dog, Jacob named it. So while Claire played with the dogs in the park, Jacob and I started a long conversation about _A Song of Ice and Fire._

Jacob left my bag on the passenger side of my car, and I thanked him before we went our separate ways.

I got home and started cooking, marinating the chicken and vegetables in lime juice and preparing the tortillas. I was making the sauces when the bell rang. I looked at the clock and saw it was half past six.

I opened the door and saw at the other side a dark-haired woman, not too tall and with features that reminded me of Emily, except for a pair of beautiful dark eyes. I supposed it was Leah, her sister. On her arms, and supported against her hip, was a little boy with eyes like hers but with lighter hair.

"You're Bella, right?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes. You're Leah?" She nodded, and I added, "And who is this little man?"

"He's Matthew," she said, looking at him adoringly.

They came in, and I closed the door behind them.

"Mmmm, it smells delicious in here," she said, entering the living room and leaving Matthew on the floor, who immediately started playing with Max.

"I'm making fajitas."

She looked at me incredulously. "Are you cooking?" I nodded. "Gosh, I'm sure they've never cooked anything in that kitchen besides coffee and toast."

I laughed a little. "I've noticed that they buy everything ready to eat," I answered while she entered the kitchen.

"There are even homemade tortillas. Be careful or they won't let you go away." She said the last part while laughing. "Can I help you?"

"Hmm, can you take out some plates to serve the food?"

We started working together while we talked. I learned that she was twenty-four and Matt was one, she lived in Oakland, and she was divorced. I found it strange that she had been married and was divorced at twenty-four, but I didn't ask because her face when she told me was one I knew too well; it was one I saw every time I looked in the mirror, one that said that she had been hurt beyond imagination.

Time flew, and before we knew it, it was past seven, and Jacob was at the door with Claire, followed by Sam and Emily not long after.

What was supposed to be another night at home, became a welcome dinner for me – in Emily's words.

"Hey, Bella, if you keep cooking, I'll start cleaning your room," Emily said between mouthfuls, and Leah shot me a look that said, "I told you so."

"No, really," continued Emily. "This is incredible, and anyway, the other day I saw you sweeping, and I thought that you could use some help."

"Hmmm…" I began, but before I could say something coherent, Leah spoke.

"You saw her struggling to sweep the floor and you thought that she could use some help, but didn't help her?" she said, shaking her head.

"She didn't ask for help…I didn't know if I would offend her!" Emily defended herself.

Leah laughed and shook her head again.

"Don't worry, you won't offend her," Jacob said, shooting me a look. "She won't ask for help, but she won't feel offended if you offer it."

This time I laughed. "I don't mind cooking," I said to Emily. "You don't have to clean my room though."

"Stubborn." Jacob tried to whisper it, but we all heard him and laughed again.

Somebody had brought tequila and it was starting to affect us, making us more bold and noisy. It also helped me to confirm my suspicions about Jacob and Leah; I had seen the way he looked at her, and at first she had rejected him, but now with the alcohol in her system, she showed that she felt something.

I really hoped she'd stop rejecting him. They made a wonderful couple.

- . - . - . - . –

The next morning I woke up with a huge headache and cursing to whatever thought that had lead me to believe that drinking the night before my first day at work was a good idea. At least I hadn't had nightmares, which was something good and welcome.

I took a shower and dressed, and when I went to the kitchen, Emily was making coffee. Sam was sleeping on the sofa; he opened an eye when he heard me and chuckled. He was sleeping there because Leah and Matt had stayed and shared the bed with Emily.

I took eggs and bacon from the fridge because my experience told me that greasy food was good when you had a hangover – though I had never drank that much before, so I hadn't had a hangover as bad as that.

Emily gave me an ibuprofen, and we ate in silence. When we finished, we actually felt a lot better. In the minutes we had to spare, Emily helped me put my makeup on so I could cover the signs of my tiredness because I'd never used makeup besides applying eyeliner and mascara.

When we got out of the apartment, Emily closed the door with more force than necessary and a smirk on her face. "Did you hear him chuckle when you walked out of your room? He laughed at me too because we have to go to work while he can stay at home and sleep."

We laughed a little and said goodbye when we stepped onto the street. She went to the bus stop to go to San Francisco, and I went to my car.

Heidi offered me a cup of coffee when I got to the office, and we started working: answering the phone, handling Mr. Masen's and Mr. Dwyer's – or Edward and Phil, as they had requested me to call them – agendas, welcoming the clients, filing documents….

It was a busy morning, but there was a moment of calm in which I filled out the form for hospital volunteers and forwarded it to Kate. I spoke with her later, and we agreed that I'd go Saturday and Sunday afternoons.

I had lunch with Heidi, and she talked mostly about her newborn son. She had just come back from her maternity leave. She had a neighbor to watch over him in the mornings, but she'd have to pay someone to do it in the afternoons, though she and her husband couldn't afford it at the moment. She told me that she had been working with Edward and Phil for six years, since they had started the law office. Since they had reduced her hours to only the mornings, they had been looking for someone to work in the afternoons. They paid her a bit less than before, but she said that less money was better than no money if she had to stop working.

By the end of Friday, I was in control of the filling system and the agendas, and though I was a bit nervous, I believed that I was ready to start working alone on Monday afternoon.

- . - . - . - . –

Saturday afternoon, Emily had offered to take Max out for a walk and I was getting ready to go to the hospital when Sam knocked on my bedroom door. I was in the bathroom brushing my hair and told him to come in.

"Hey, Bella… hmm… can I ask you a favor?" he asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Of course," I answered, giving up and throwing my hair up in a ponytail.

"Well, today is my anniversary with Emily, and I have something prepared, and…I feel like an ass for asking you this, but…I wanted to know if...errr…I don't know how to say this without it sounding bad…"

"Sam, just say it," I told him with a smile while I turned around and leaned against the sink.

"Well, I wanted to ask if you would mind giving us some privacy? I know this is your place now too, and I can't really ask you to stay out of here a few hours, but…"

"Sam," I cut him off. "Don't worry, it's not a problem. Today I start as a volunteer at the hospital in San Francisco; just call me when you're finished." I blushed slightly while I said the last part, knowing exactly why they wanted the apartment to themselves.

"Oh, okay, that's perfect."

"Okay, I have to go," I said, stepping out of the bathroom and taking my bag and a jacket. "Oh, and just so you know, I always sleep with the iPod playing and my earbuds in," I added before going out of the apartment.

- . - . - . - . –

"Bella! I'm so glad you came," Kate said when she saw me.

"I told you I'd come," I said with a smile.

She hugged me briefly, and I laughed in her excitement. Since Wednesday, when Emmett invited me to have lunch with them, I had found myself laughing more. Additionally, the last two days I had been exhausted from work when I arrived home so I slept soundly and dreamless, and the lack of nightmares had helped my good spirits.

"Well, my shift ends in an hour. So let's see if we're finished by then, and then I can go home and relax," she said with a smile.

"You have Garrett waiting for you?" I asked without thinking. I got nervous instantly because I hadn't known her that long and that was a personal question, and she'd surely think that it wasn't any of my business, and… Agg! I was going to stop kicking myself mentally to really kick myself physically because I was an idiot that always overthought everything that came out of my mouth.

"Something better," she said with a mischievous glint in her eyes while she took a folder from the front desk. "He's gone to visit his parents in Santa Barbara for the weekend, so I have the place to myself." We laughed together.

"Well, let's start," she said after looking at a couple of papers in the folder. "You've volunteered with kids before, so you can skip the training part. I'll take you with me on a round so you can meet some of the patients, and you'll begin tomorrow. You're coming on Sundays too, right?

"Yes, of course."

"Okay, follow me."

We went to the bedroom in which Kate said there was a six-year-old kid that had a broken leg and a sprained wrist because of a bad fall.

We were in front of the door when it suddenly opened, and who I saw at the other side left me speechless. It was the guy from the mall, the same one that threw coffee over me on Wednesday. He was there, in scrubs and looking at me with his green eyes, making it impossible to take my eyes off him.

Kate said something, but I could only focus on him.

"We have to stop seeing each other like this," he said with that smile that lifted only one side of his mouth and always left me mesmerized.

I think I mumbled some answer, but it didn't register with me. In fact, nothing registered until Kate addressed me. "Bella, this is Edward; the friend we talked about the other day," she said, and I finally tore my eyes away from him to look at her. "Edward, this is Bella; a new volunteer, and my new friend."

My throat closed, and my eyes prickled when she introduced me as her friend. The emotions came back in full force, and I felt slightly pathetic for being moved to tears because someone called me their friend.

I cleared my throat before speaking. "Hi," I said shyly. It felt surreal being introduced to someone I already knew… technically.

"Hello, Bella," he said, and the way my name fell from his lips made me feel as if he was caressing me, covering my skin in goose bumps.

I tried to recover quickly and seem indifferent because I didn't like the sensations he was making me feel. When someone like him made someone like me feel that way, the only possible ending was someone like me getting hurt, and I wasn't willing to take the risk.

I knew that I was really unfortunate when Kate's pager went off, and she asked Edward to do the round with me. He accepted instantly, again with that smile on his lips.

By the time we finished, I felt bad because I had been really rude even though he had been truly nice to me. I thought, though, that after that he probably would want nothing to do with me.

We met Kate again at the front desk, and she proposed going for a coffee before going home. Edward accepted because his shift had ended too. I agreed and told them that I'd wait for them at a bookstore I had seen a block away, while they changed.

- . - . - . - . –

The clerk had taken the book I was going to buy – _A Discovery of Witches,_ by Deborah Harkness - to the cash desk because it was a heavy book, and I was in the classics aisle trying to decide if I should buy a copy of _The Count of Monte Cristo_, too. It was my favorite book, and the copy I had was tattered.

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of my neck stood, and seconds later I heard a voice that was now familiar.

"Searching for light literature?" he asked, pointing at the book in my hand.

"No, I've already chosen the book I'm going to buy. This is just to replace my old copy."

"So you've read it already."

"Lots of times," I said and bit my lip before continuing. "It's my favorite, and the copy I have at home is falling to pieces but, I don't know… I don't want to get rid of it."

He took the book from my hand and put it back on the shelf.

"Why don't you bring it tomorrow? My mother works as a book restorer, and maybe she can fix it." He was so close to me that I had a hard time concentrating on what he was saying, and when I finally figured it out, all I could do was nod.

When he moved away and I paid for the other book, I realized that Kate wasn't there.

"She had to go," Edward said when I asked about her. "Her boyfriend was feeling lonely at home and called her to see if she'd be there soon."

I obviously knew he was lying, and I wondered for a moment if maybe he had asked her to leave us alone; I couldn't think of another reason for him to lie. A part of me, the stupid part, was excited at the prospect of spending time with him. The rational part, though, hadn't forgotten everything I had been through and knew that the smart thing to do was keep my walls up. So she tried to kick out the stupid part, which defended herself saying that I couldn't go back to the apartment until Sam called me.

It seemed that my rational part turned stupid with that last thought because, instead of telling him that I knew he was lying, I played dumb and agreed that the café in the corner was perfect.

- . - . - . - . –

I didn't know how, but what had started as just a coffee, ended in dinner. Edward had started saying that he was famished, and that sandwiches in that café were great. Then he said that he couldn't eat alone. So I was having a piece of chocolate cake as a dessert while we played a game of twenty questions because apparently we were teens again.

"Okay, my next question is really serious," he said.

We had already gone through those generic questions like name or age. That's how I knew that his complete name was Edward Cullen – well, I already knew that, and after he answered I told him that I knew Emmett and his brother, and that I worked for his uncle. I also learned that he was 26, he was on his second year of residency as a pediatrician, and he had always lived in Berkeley.

"Ask."

"What is…" he started with a serious face "…your favorite color?"

I gaped at him. "That's…that's a really deep question," I said, trying not to laugh, but failing completely.

"Everything depends on the answer."

"Okay, I have two: green and purple."

"Don't you see how the question was important?"

"Why?"

"You like green."

"And purple."

"But you said green first."

"And?"

"My eyes are green."

"Plants are green too."

"You know, I think my ego just fell to my feet," he said with mock offense.

"I think your ego needed it," I said with the sweetest smile I could muster.

He laughed, shaking his head. My phone beeped at that moment with a new message.

_You can come back whenever you want_

_-Sam_

I thought that I didn't want to go, and my rational part looked at me with a terrified expression, but it was getting late.

I went to pay, but Edward stopped me. "This is on me, for the coffee I threw on you," he said. I hesitated. I didn't think it was necessary, and it wasn't like he had done it on purpose. He took that time to pay for both of us. "Come on, you can invite me the next time."

"What makes you think there will be a next time?" I asked while we walked back to the hospital.

"My personal charm?" He again used that smile.

"Do you want me to make your ego fall again?"

"No, please," he said laughing. "I don't think it could bear another fall so soon."

We got to my car, and my stupid part felt sad because I had to say goodbye to him while my rational part looked at her and shook her head.

"Do you need a ride?" I asked him, and the rational part banged her head against a wall.

"No, my bike's parked over there." He signaled with his thumb to the workers' parking lot.

My mind drifted to him straddling a bike, and I felt my face heat when I thought about a powerful machine between his legs. I was such a pervert.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize he had me trapped between the car and his body, and his face was getting closer to mine until I felt his nose brush against mine. I turned my head at the last moment, and his lips grazed my cheek. That time it was my stupid part that banged her head against a wall.

"My ego has died," he whispered against my skin.

I chuckled awkwardly. "I have to go," I said a moment later.

He stepped back, and I thought I heard him sigh.

He stood there until I left. It wasn't until I was almost out of the city that I realized my whole body was shaking and that butterflies and killer bees battled in my stomach.

- . - . - . - . –

What I liked less about my new place was that I had to park in the back of the building. It was a place that seemed like an alley and made me remember _that_ day, the one that haunted me with nightmares.

I walked as fast as I could to the front door of the building and I felt relieved when I got in the elevator – or at least as relieved as I could be given what I was feeling at the moment.

I went to the front door of the apartment and heard a noise at the other side. I opened the door slowly and poked my head inside.

"Are you presentable?"

Emily appeared at the threshold in a matter of seconds. "Bella! Come in, we have a surprise for you!"

I stopped in the hall. "A surprise?"

Emily smiled, and my eyes widened when I saw the person that appeared behind her.

"Rose!"

* * *

><p>Well, what do you think?<p>

I'm completely flattered by your comments on this story. I was hesitant about posting it but I'm glad you like it.

A couple things that I probably should have said before: first this story is set in 2011; second, Bella wasn't raped.

I hope you liked this chapter. The next will be up around February 23th.

Thank you so much for reading, commenting and adding the story to your favourites and alerts.

-Bells, :)


	5. Chapter 5

Hi!

I know it's been a really long time since I last updated. I just want to apologize and let you know that I haven't abandoned this story.

I'm moving my stories in English to this account: www . fanfiction u / 4815381

There you'll find a couple of OS and I'll upload soon a mini-fic. I'm halfway done with Beginning Again and will start posting there as soon as it's finished.

I know that after all this time I can't really ask you this, but I really hope to see you there.

-Bells :)


	6. Chapter 6

Hi!

I've been told that the link I provided in the last note isn't working, so here's the penname of the new account: Bells M C Stories in English.

-Bells :)


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